Breathe
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
, Posted by Kent Robson at 9:16 PM
Michael W. Smith, a well know Christian music artist, wrote a popular song called Breathe. The lyrics read:
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me
And I, I'm desperate for you
And I, I'm lost without you
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me
And I, I'm desperate for you
And I, I'm lost without you
When Becky Stubbs sings this song, it has an entirely different meaning. Born with Cystic Fibrosis (CF), she has been struggling for every breath for 26 years. CF is a disease that causes the body to produce a thick, sticky mucus that obstructs the lungs and pancreas. People with CF often die young. Becky has outlived the odds.
Her mornings are very difficult as she gets up after a restless night of violent bouts of coughing. Each day is the same, filled with a series of medications and therapy that attempts to chisel the hard and heavy mucus from her lungs. She has been in the hospital for long periods, over 68 times in her 26 years and 4 times just this past year. Her disease is unrelenting and unforgiving.
But Christ's forgiveness and relentless grace and love are what sustain her.
Recently, during yet another stint in the hospital, Becky wrote in her daily blog:
'One of the doctors, an endocrinologist, came into my room and gave me some news. They took a urine test the other day and there are proteins in my urine, which he called nephropathy. This means that there is at least some kidney damage. The good news is that it is early and treatable. I will now be taking a blood pressure medication in order to correct the problem. This brings on more regular tests and concerns, but it is treatable, so that is good.
The bad news is that it is my fault. For more than 12 years, I did not take care of my diabetes. It took a back seat to my Cystic Fibrosis (CF) and because of my stubborness and lack of discipline, I have now created a whole new issue. I'm crying now because I feel so stupid for not taking care of myself. There is a part of me that, despite having Cystic Fibrosis (CF), has been in denial over the significance of the diabetes and the fact that I could develop other issues. Maybe its too much for my brain to handle.
I joke a lot about how many health issues I have, but its always, at least initially, a shock to hear that there is yet another problem. I know that eventually I will add this to my list of complications and diseases and will move on with trying to take care of myself. Right now, though, I am still processing.
...It is only because of Jesus that I am here. He's the only thing that gives me hope and a purpose for my life in the midst of so much disease and pain.'
The bad news is that it is my fault. For more than 12 years, I did not take care of my diabetes. It took a back seat to my Cystic Fibrosis (CF) and because of my stubborness and lack of discipline, I have now created a whole new issue. I'm crying now because I feel so stupid for not taking care of myself. There is a part of me that, despite having Cystic Fibrosis (CF), has been in denial over the significance of the diabetes and the fact that I could develop other issues. Maybe its too much for my brain to handle.
I joke a lot about how many health issues I have, but its always, at least initially, a shock to hear that there is yet another problem. I know that eventually I will add this to my list of complications and diseases and will move on with trying to take care of myself. Right now, though, I am still processing.
...It is only because of Jesus that I am here. He's the only thing that gives me hope and a purpose for my life in the midst of so much disease and pain.'
The next time you sing this song, imagine struggling for every breath that you breathe, not knowing that your next breath could be your last. Imagine being desperate for one day of rest from this brutal disease. Imagine feeling completely lost at times because the pain never goes away. Yet, in spite of all of the uncertainty, imagine being confident that Jesus is the only reason why there is hope. He is truly the air that Becky breathes, every single day.
The next time you sing this song, think of Becky.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. (Psalms 150:6)
2008©Kent Robson
eSentialz #1
If you would like to blog with, pray for and support Becky Stubbs:* go to www.beckystubbs.blogspot.com
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